Hip hypocrisy gives way to stupidity

The last of the cool kids?

I came across this article by Vex News, correctly titled OUTRAGE: MIA about the hypocrisy of the left to try and boycott “oppressive” (in their words) Israel when they could be doing much more by taking aim at the oppressive world of fundamentalist Islam in the Middle East. What really grabbed my attention (and guffaw) was the description of BDS supporters and protestors of Max Brenner stores as:

be-scarved local private-school brats, Hamas-niks and anti-Semites raging against the chocolate machine.

Bravo, VEX! It’s always struck me as hypocritical that those who denounce Israel with anti-Semitism and stand up proudly for the torturous and actually oppressive Islam “be-scarf” themselves with the keffiyeh. Do they not notice the irony of wearing a keffiyeh when it’s the fashion accessory of choice for oppressors?

I’m sick of these bloody hipsters running around and wearing and doing stuff without a thought for it’s origins or the deeper meaning. And hipsters are now everywhere. Remember when cool kids used to be, actually, cool? A quick Google of “keffiyeh and hipsters” took me to this blog called (and the jury’s still out on this) Taking Life Seriously, and a post titled: The Keffiyeh: Modern Symbol of Hipster Ignorance. Oh, how my heart swelled when I read that title alone – a kindred spirit?

From the post, describing hipsters:

Their THC-drunk smiles relaying a kind of superficiality and ignorance usually reserved for the offspring of Hollywood celebrities.

and:

The keffiyeh began its ascent into Western fashion culture in the early 1980s when it caught on as a symbol of support for Palestinian freedom amongst politically-active non-Arab American students. Wearing the keffiyeh was a potent political statement to make too: The Independent called the keffiyeh “a symbol of Islamic militancy” while Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero was criticized by opposition parties after posing with a keffiyeh and was accused of “anti-Semitism, anti-Zionism and Israelophobia”.

Most beautifully, the author sums up with this gem:

Dumbass hipsters wearing keffiyehs is equivalent to gorilla-brained gangster rappers spouting ineloquent and violent lyrics while wearing giant crucifixes and, better yet, encrusting them with diamonds and rubies.

Although one anonymous commenter wrote:

Even if it is “clueless hipsters’ wearing the keffiyeh’s then at least the discussion of this should lead to conversation on the plight of the Palestinians. If complimented lots of ‘hipsters’ keffiyehs and questioned them on knowledge of palestine. The majority are aware of the symbolism of wearing a Keffiyah and wear it in solidarity. The few that don’t know will generally be interested and then research the situation and the history of palestine themselves. Surely that is a positive thing.

Oh come on! They’re hipsters! They’re never going to willingly learn anything other than what’s new and decrying it by saying they liked it before it was popular. Duh! Though that wasn’t nearly as bad as this other comment:

I’m jewish but I hate Israel because it kills people in the name of jews.

Which is basically saying I love Palestine because it kills people in the name of Islam.

I’ve never heard of a Jew raping, torturing and murdering their five-year old daughter due to doubts over their virginity. Have you?

There’s always been cool kids, and some of them have actually been pretty cool, but these hipsters are only cool to themselves. What’s cool about dressing in the latest high-priced threads that make you look like a kid playing dress-ups? Imitation Wayfarers that look like kids’ sunglasses, trousers that are glorified “babygros” and t-shirts with cartoon characters on them? I was confronted with this cartoon couture in 2009, when I went shopping for clothes in Myer (a half-arsed Marks & Spencer down under) one day  and all that was on offer were t-shirts with Sesame Street, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the most juvenile manga. I hated it as a kid, so why wear it now?

I first saw hipsters en masse in 2010, going to a gig on a friend’s free ticket at the Brisbane Hipster’s venue of choice, the Hi Fi Bar – home to overpriced poor-quality beer (Carlton Draught, anyone?) and on the bill was the hipsters’ favourite bands: the Hungry Kids of Hungary (rivals to Chilly Kids of Chile or Island Kids of Ireland?) All these hipsters were there, dressed in their best op-shop sourced and Enid Blyton-inspired finest, having forked out $40 per ticket they simply sat around on the floor talking to each other – why not save your (parents’) money and stay home instead? I was trying to take notes on the night in an attempt at a review and all I scribbled was: Sarah Blasko called, she wants her wardrobe back.

Other bizarre things hipsters call “clothes” (much like Vivienne Westwood‘s haute couture) include the trend of guys walking round with “salmon” coloured pants, and it’s not just me who’s noticed this – there’s even a site on Tumblr (the hipster’s own social media) White Boys in Salmon Shorts. Why pay money to look like a walking, talking salmon terrine? If hipsters were actually dedicated followers of fashion, wouldn’t they realise that the general concensus (even the uninspiring Vogue) is pastels went out in the 80’s?

Hipster males are also known for growing beards yet shaving their pubes, as if they’re constantly living Opposite Day. They also wear “plaid” (read: flannelette) shirts not seen since the early 90’s. When I was a litt’lun, anything called “vintage” was usually a vintage car, i.e. made before 1940. Now, these 90s leftovers or anything more than five minutes old are called “vintage”, and we’re poorer for it. Thanks, losers.

And hipster television sucks too – I don’t hate Girls because it is written by an intelligent, educated and switched-on woman, I hate it for pampering to the hipster ideal of having more clothes and money than sense. Why was there all the hype about it being so “white” and not casting anyone of a darker than hipster-pasty hue, but nothing about how they all seem to be still living off their parents? This is best shown in the pilot episode when Hannah (played by creator, writer and producer Lena Dunham) whines over her parents refusal to fund her badly-dressed and going-nowhere life. Think she’s got problems because Mama and Papa won’t give her a few grand whenever she wants? I can’t get $20 out of mine!

The only hipster-related thing I like is the song ‘Pumped Up Kicks’ by Foster the People – in a perfect world, I’d listen to this as I walked down the streets of Fortitude Valley, Fitzroy, Surry Hills, Hoxton and Williamsburg, taking pot-shots at the hip and stupid with a well-loaded rifle. Although next thing you know it will be a “hate crime” to discriminate against young, salmon-wearing fools.

As hipsters love to whine, “FML!”

Why I hate the BDS movement

Since the age of sixteen, I’ve had a deep love, interest and respect for Jewish people, whether they be practicing or just of the blood pure. It all started from reading the columns of Julie Burchill, the British journalist who is known as one of the fiercest defenders of Israel in the British media. Where are the defenders of Israel in Australia?

Why do I have such a thing for Jews? I can’t explain but I hope the following list will. How many of the people listed are either clever, talented, intelligent, funny, switched-on, interesting or even downright sexy, and all because they’re Jewish, regardless of whether by birth, religious observance or descent:

• John Safran
• Deborah Conway
• Sir John Monash
• Malcolm Fraser
• Frank Lowy
• Abe “Mr Sin” Saffron
• Robert Manne
• Peter Singer
• Sir Peter Abeles
• Poppy King
• Sidney Myer
• Renee Geyer
• David Helfgott

And that’s just a selection from Australia alone. I could go on with a list of people from overseas but we’d never hear the end of it, such is my passion.

I consider myself a philosemite (a Judeophile if you will, but small-minded people hear the suffix of “phile” and their minds go instantly to child abuse – I can’t fathom it either) and am very slowly learning all about Judaism, Israel and Zionism. Thanks to Burchill’s and others’ writings and the dozens of books I’ve read, I’m gradually becoming more passionate and learned.

I overcame the slight dislike of my name once I learnt it was of Hebrew origin, (Yeshua, translated to God is Salvation) and that even the alias I tooled about with, Levi, was again by coincidence Hebrew, meaning “joined in harmony”.

But the real turning point for me was when I decided to join a political party. Being of a lefty persuasion (despite favouring Israel over Palestine, a slap in the face to any left-leaning cause) I decided to join the Socialist Alliance, cheap at only $15 a pop for yearly membership. I only attended meetings and such for a fortnight before realising what a crock it was, of people brainwashed by words like “solidarity” and “cause” and “consciousness” bandied about like stones, the same stones that Israelis are pelted with by Palestinians. Also I got out before the question over the Middle East arose and would surely have been kicked out anyway. I can just picture myself being chased out of Trades Hall for refusing to kow-tow to the demands of a group of people whose chosen fashion accessory is one of Mum’s tea towels, straight out of the third drawer down.

Months later and the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions campaign kicked into full swing in Australia, spearheaded by Senator Lee Rhiannon of the NSW branch of The Greens, and a few mimsy words from then party leader Bob Brown, who didn’t anywhere near calling it out on the anti-Semitic bullying it is (And doesn’t Lee Rhiannon always remind you of that weird teacher from primary school that nobody liked and always smelled like they’d pissed themselves and rolled round in chicken-salt before leaving home?).

I’m glad I cut all ties with the lefty loonies by then, because at that time they all decided to do the only thing a BDS campaign can do, to picket a chocolate shop because it was started by two guys who happened (by fortune) to have been born in Israel. I was livid and had a near panic-attack when I read in the papers that 19 protestors (some of whom were from the S.A., just one letter away from S.S.) were arrested for protesting outside a Max Brenner store in Melbourne’s CBD, on charges including riotous behaviour, trespass and besetting premises. In my upset state I seriously thought that the next thing the S.A. would do was goose-step down Glen Huntly Road to Caulfield, Elsternwick and Balaclava (the home of most of Melbourne’s Jewish population) and attack any newsagent that dared to sell the Australian Jewish News. Thankfully, this has not happened, but if anything so resembles that sickening thought I’ll be on the first plane down there to abuse them in turn whilst proudly wearing my Israeli flag-patterned bandana (sorry,  it was cheaper than buying an actual flag-sized flag, of which I hope to buy a few to put up in my front windows).

Picketing Max Brenner stores and other businesses with links, however tenuous, to Israel is not just confined to Melbourne, or even Australia, but has happened throughout the world too – from London to Los Angeles. It also happened at around the same time to another Max Brenner store in Brisbane, and delightfully the BDS mob were met by a counter-protest, with bigger numbers and louder voices. Happily there was as a pro-Israel protest and show of support for the beleaguered chocolate shop in Melbourne, although sadly (to me personally) was sponsored and organised by the Liberal Party (don’t let the name fool you, international readers – the Liberal Party of Australia are conservative and currently there’s a right-wing Catholic at the helm), but at last Josh Frydenberg, Liberal MP for Kooyong, finally endeared himself to me, by asking BDS protestors to their smug faces: “Where is your Boycott, Divestment, Sanction about the butchers in Syria, about Ahmadinejad in Iran and the perils of Hezbollah?” If I should ever move to Anglican, leafy, upper middle class Kooyong – he’s got my vote.

So why do we hear nothing from a pro-Israel point-of-view in the Australian media? Granted we hear precious little about the Middle East anyway, usually only a few seconds on the evening news of rockets being launched over borders. And even that’s only on World News Australia on SBS! Australia needs a shake-up to scrape off the anti-Semitic crust that somehow most people I’ve met have inherently got. Even last week a 17 year-old (now former) friend of mine heard me mention that I was reading about Israel. His response to this was “bomb the shit out of them.” Considering that the political history of the Middle East isn’t taught in high school history (for shame), how could he say this without knowing a thing? How come in February 2012 on a block of toilets in near-redneck Wantirna of all places, some yobs chose as graffiti “The best Jew is a dead Jew” and a picture of a stick-figure in a noose, in a place with no Jewish people at all?

As Peter Finch cried in Network, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna’ take it anymore!” Why is there no history of out-and-proud philosemitism in Australia, particularly in the most Jewish-populated cities of Sydney and Melbourne? Why do studies say that anti-Semitism in Australia is on the rise since 9/11? Correct me if I’m wrong but was Israel in anyway involved in an attack that was orchestrated by the suicidal shareholders of Al Qaeda PLC? I know Muslims, whether fundamental or not, have taken stick (if not a branch), since then but blaming Jews for a cowardly offence committed by people? Have you not heard of Nick Griffin? Isn’t this just fringe-dwelling conspiracy nuts blaming Jewish people for everything wrong in their lives becoming mainstream?

It’s not on.

NOTE: Next I’ll be writing about what it’s really like attending a Socialist Alliance meeting and joining them on a protest – in other words, “My Brush with the Loony Left”.